I believe, Lord...

Last week, we decided we had better go to the doctor. Noele had been coughing for a month, and I had been having headaches and began coughing as well. The doctor said we both have sinusitis and bronchitis, so he prescribed an antibiotic and a cough syrup. We immediately began to feel our sinuses and lungs clearing up, but I was very tired and feverish, and wasn’t sleeping at all! On Thursday, I woke up from a nap, and noticed a strange swelling and tightness in my knee. As I talked with Gene and Jordana that night, I began to have more pain in other joints, so I thought it would be a good idea to find out the side effects of the antibiotic. Sure enough, there was a laundry list of dangerous side effects including the symptoms of tendonitis. Everything I was experiencing was on that list. We went back to the doctor and he changed my meds. Unfortunately, I have been plagued with pain in my whole body, so I feel like I'm 90 years old. On the bright side, however, this caused us to change our plans and stay in Guayaquil for the weekend.

As you grow older, your birthday wishes change dramatically. When you are a kid, you are excited about the presents and everyone treating you extra special. Soon enought you realize that what you really want is for those close to you to be truly happy.
All that to say, I had a wonderful birthday! I have so many loving friends and family that sent me love, which made it bearable to be just one year shy of 30! Best of all was that I was able to do exactly what I wanted to do.

A few close friends and I picked up Flor from the orphanage, and went to the Parque Histórico, which has a variety of plants and animals native to Ecuador. Flor had a great time, though it wouldn’t have mattered to her or I where we were, we just enjoyed being together. We received many hugs and smiles from Flor.

I was singing a song that was stuck in my head…it’s by Jesus Adrian Romero, and, in English it says:

“You saw me when no one saw me, you loved me when no one loved me…you gave me a name, I am your daughter, the daughter of your eyes, because you loved me, you loved me.”

I don’t think Flor knew the song, and as the afternoon went on, I noticed her smiling as I sang, and then, while we were in the bathroom, I was singing and she pointed to herself, then to her eyes, and then from me to her, and from me to her again, along with the lyrics of the song. It was special. We showed our friends and they were amazed that I hadn’t taught her to do that. She doesn't miss anything!

I gave her some new American flag flip-flops and t-shirt, which she loved, and we drove through McDonalds, for some chicken nuggets (we were short on time!). Then came the hard part…it felt so wrong leaving her in that awful place with no one to look after her except the other orphans. She was so upset, she didn’t want to let us go. She was abandoned by her mother when she was an infant, and I felt like I was doing the very same thing to her.
I have been intermittently thankful and tearful since leaving her that day, and I keep asking the Lord what I am supposed to do about this.

Sunday morning the sermon was from Mark 9 when Jesus says, “Everything is possible for him who believes.” To which the only appropriate response seems to be: “I believe Lord, help my unbelief.”